October 19, 2009: Gears, Guns, And Good Times

Once upon a time, there was a game about a land that was having a terrible time. In this land, the oil was drying up, food was in short supply, and things were generally looking pretty grim. Then one day, a man from this land got the idea that it might be fun to stick a .50 cal machine gun on his car. He was right. It was indeed quite a great deal of fun. And so was born a game where the right of way went to the biggest gun.

But as time went on, the fun little game about crazy people in cars shooting at each other faded away. Players moved on to pretending to be vampires, or amassing suitcases full of cards, or playing with these tiny men that made clicking noises, or any of a vast number of other games that primarily revolved around kicking doors and taking things. The game packed up its bags and headed to the retirement home for classic games, where it passed away quietly.

. . . Or so everyone thought. Turns out that plucky little game, like any smart autodueller, had its brain backed up! And so it is that the Car Wars Compendium rides again through the miracle of modern science! (Or "e23," as we like to call it.) And it can't wait to teach all these young punks why "drive offensively" are the two most useful words they'll ever hear.

-- Fox Barrett